O little town of Superland

24 November 2017

| By Rollover |

O little town of Superland
How regulated we see thee lie
Enmeshed in laws so very deep
The compliance teams, they sigh
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
The everlasting Light
The hopes and fears of all the years
Exposed to a Royal Commission fright

For APRA is born of bureaucracy
And gathered all above
While politicians sleep, the pen-pushers keep
Their watch of wondering love
O morning stars together
Proclaim the regulatory cost
And praises sing to industry funding
And jobs to those above

How silently, how silently
The regulatory creep occurs!
So APRA imparts to human hearts
The agenda of its chair.
No ear may hear His coming,
But in this world of sin,
Where meek souls will receive him still,
The Chairman enters in.

O holy saviour of Superland
Descend to us, we pray
Cut down our regs and enter in
Be born to us today
We hear the Christmas angels
The great glad tidings tell
O come to us, abide with us
Our Super Emmanuelle

AUTHOR

The Rollover

Rollover is a jaded hack who joined the staff of Super Review nearly two decades’ ago and never managed to summon the energy to leave. Known throughout the superannuation industry as a power-luncher and gossip, Rollover spends his time humouring fund managers, eavesdropping at conferences, dozing through briefings and looking for his next free meal.

View articles by The

The's social profiles:

E-mail Author

Recommended for you

Rollover

The reality of mergers

With rainy weather abound in Sydney, Rollover was sat in front of his TV watching the smorgasbord of niche documentaries free-to-air has to offer.

Rollover

When the Vanguard fails to advance

As a history buff, Rollover is well-aware of the importance of the role the vanguard plays in a military force, as the leader at the front of battle.

Rollover

All aboard the crypto train

Now that crypto investing is mainstream, with Rest Super announcing it will put a portion of its funds into it, Rollover wonders whether his grandkids will think he is hip when he shows them his crypto balance in his new digital wallet.

Rollover

Merger mania or left-foot tango

Rollover is almost as fascinated by superannuation fund mergers as the deputy chair of the Australian Prudential Regulation Authority (APRA), Helen Rowell.